Gamer’s guide to the opposite sex

2016 and we still don’t know how to act to the opposite sex when we meet. Especially on the internet. I started writing about the Warcraft premiere and how that went wrong, but that seems like it’s going to be swept under the rug. So, if you want to find out about it, google is your friend. In this guide, I am going to go over some things.

All people:

If you want to be respected, treat people with respect. It’s that simple.

You do not have to accept behavior and situations if you think they are not healthy to be around. There are very good people out there who are mature and respectful.

Online games are suppose to be fun and entertaining. Just as you want to be entertained, so does everyone else who has paid to play it. Try not to to be “that person” who sucks the fun out of things for other people.


Every person you see playing an online game is a real person. They have thoughts. They have feelings. No matter what you heard from a friend or relative, there is a good chance that player is female (at least 50/50). If for some astonishing reason, no one has ever identified themselves as female to you, that could be a reflection on you, and how you treat people online. You might want to think about that.

Women are not toys, they are not objects. Their number one priority is not for our amusement. They just want to play a game, kill some orcs/dragons, and get epic loot. Some of them want more/less, but that’s another topic.

Treat people the same whether they are male or female. It makes things a lot easier in the end. You might actually gain the respect of people you chat with online.

If someone online opens up to you, cherish that. Not many people do. Don’t take it as an invitation to sexually bombard them. If they are comfortable with certain topics, they will let you know over time.

Save the dick jokes for your friends. They are not funny. Even if a person who has identified themselves as a female starts talking about them, there are probably others who don’t wish to have that put in front of their faces. Figuratively of course.

Just because bad behavior may be tolerated in guild chat, mumble/vent or party chat, doesn’t mean you should join in. In fact, it should mean you should find another guild. There is a lot of stuff that is perpetuated on both sides, because people are too afraid to speak up. This sucks, but it is a reality.

I grew up without a dad in my life. I had a lot of figuring out on my own. I’m sure I have put my foot in my mouth a few times. I have had a few talks from adults who were not my parents, and I am better off for it. We all have a responsibility for letting others know what is right and what is wrong. If someone talks to you about your behavior, it’s because they see something in you that is good. Otherwise, they will just pummel you.


Most guys are looking for female interaction. Some even have wives or girlfriends. You probably know this already. I do not envy your place in online gaming right now.

If you are in a guild and use mumble/vent, your guild probably knows you are female. Hopefully they treat you with respect and maturity.

The easiest thing to do is never bring up sex, and avoid the topic when it comes up. This is not a reality though. Depending on your guild, it’s probably going to come up often. If it’s between mature, well adjusted people, it might even be enlightening. If you feel uncomfortable with it, let people know. The worst thing that can happen is that nothing is ever said and it continues. Guys then think it’s OK to talk about certain things.

All people:

Associate yourself with like-minded people. If you find you cannot be mature about your gaming experience, or simply don’t want to, seek out those who feel the same.

If you find yourself in a group that makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to accept it. Say something. You have a voice. Use it. If that’s not you thing, find a group/guild who is mature.

This is a complicated issue, but one we need to address. Accepting bad behavior/sexual harassment is on all of us. If we accept it, we enable it to continue, and spread to others.

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One Response to Gamer’s guide to the opposite sex

  1. Ryan Jagoda says:

    Nicely written. I think the underlying problem is that online abuse/harassment snowballs, and it fosters a pack mentality. It starts with a simple joke, maybe an innocuous comment. Someone else sees it and is emboldened. They make their own comment. After a point, maybe that day or maybe down the road, the joking reaches a certain threshold, and the floodgates open.

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